@Shonak: Thankyou very much, I really appreciate it. Thankfully there isn't much to catch up on so far.
@Welker: I guess that depends on results. They'll certainly want him to do a bit better at his current mission first!
@Luis Leon Sanchez: Thanks. I'd rather not give away full stats, but I'll say this. He's good everywhere, but really good. He massively overachieved in the classics, put it that way, and if he does similarly on any other terrain, he's massively overachieving there too.
@Ollfardh: it sure is! I'm glad you like it though.
@Admab: Thanks. If you are a Sky liker, then sorry. I had the idea, and Sky made sense, as lots of people aren't fans, so they'd be more likely to follow.
@Sutty: He seems to be the victim a lot!
Le Tour, stage 1
For Sky, the biggest race of the season, for me, a beautiful chance for mischief. Furthermore, I can do whatever I want, as it is my last major race!
The race started with a sprint stage. I was leading out Boasson Hagen, at least I was, until I slowed almost too a stop, right in front of the line! He had to come round me and go back up to speed.
Unfortunately, the Norwegian did that pretty well. Not nearly enough for a win of course, but he did recover to 6th place. Kittel won in style, with myself 12th, after sprinting in after my sudden slowing.
This was pretty easy, but I need to conceal my mischief, at least until the mountains, where I can really damage Froome.
A nice hilly stage, but with a flat finish. No one in Sky should try anything, so maybe a breakaway.
Henao punctured early in the race, and lost quite a bit of energy getting back to the front, this was looking good.
Irritatingly, Argos looked intent on preserving Kittel's jersey, they chased hard, no breakaway today, so no day off for me.
But then, Argos stopped, and only Katusha made even a tiny effort. Soon the gap was over 4 minutes, with only 20km to go.
Unsurprisingly, no one tried over the top, there was no stage win, and GC men were waiting for bigger things.
Credit where credit is duel Wiggins gave a monster lead out to Boasson Hagen, let's hope it's for nothing
Well, it was in a way, Van Avermaet won the stage, with Gerrans and Wegmann rounding off the podium.
Meanwhile, I casually stopped riding in the middle of a train, well, not stopped, I am not an ideot, but you get the idea. Off goes Wiggins and Eisel without even looking over their shoulders.
Boasson Hagen is a monster! He flew through the pack, despite his setback, and took second in the peleton sprint. He must be pretty annoyed right now though...
Then it flashed up.... He'd gone into yellow, this wasn't good.
I was now in double trouble. Not only were the team raging at me for almost killing half the peleton, but my 'sponsor' was going to be angry at Sky in yellow! In fact, I was pretty worried. As soon as we reached our hotel, I locked the door. I put in my headphones and tried to drown out the loud rapping and Norwegian swear words. Then I made a mistake, I checked my emails.
If you thought the last email was menacing, think again. I was told that I needed to pick up my act. Little tricks and pranks weren't good enough, I had an arrangement to fulfil. This wasn't a massive deal, but a stage win or any kind of jersey again, and they'd pull the plug. And that didn't just mean the contract, that was my career, my life, and so much more. I had to raise my game.
The only good part of this was it made my scuffle with Edvald rather trivial. Obviously I had to come out at some point, by which point my dazed self was pushed around, shouted at and generally talked in ways which are not part of polite conversation, even the DS joined in. Something tells me I am not going to enjoy this tour...
@Luis Leon Sanchez: Thanks
@Sutty: Definitely not something they enjoy
@Cycleman: See what I mean?
@Adamb: Thanks, but I see this must be bad for a Sky fan
Stage 5
Today no one was really going to bother and waste energy. It wasn't worth it. I was given a free role but I wasn't using it unless it could be helped. The downhill finish was not to any if our likings. Edvald was tired so we were resting till the mountains.
Goss won, from Roelandts
I was our best rider, coming home in 14th, without much effort
